KIWIS really are a passive bunch. We used to pride ourselves on our freedom and independence but sadly our little South Pacific island paradise has been captured and overrun by bureaucrats.
Whatever happened to our laid-back, easy-going Kiwi lifestyle?
Surreptitiously, successive leaders of our banana-less republic have blindly borrowed the worst elements of bureaucracy from around the globe and, dare I say it, imported a bunch of international masters of the art of compliance to inflict it upon us.
Every aspect of our lives is controlled by civil servants working for monolithic authorities elected by you and me. Their mission in life is to dream up more and more elaborate scams to separate us from our hard-earned cash.
Most New Zealanders are wage earners who have not had a genuine pay rise for years. Cost of living allowances are an insult and don’t count. How many people do you know who are working twice as hard to earn half of what they earned a decade or more ago?
The only sector that appears immune to what is happening in the real world is Compliance Incorporated, those evil local, regional and national authorities who we just re-elected for another three years to extract whatever is left in our pockets.
Compliance is killing us. If you think that’s a bit strong, think about your latest parking fines, speed camera fines, GST increases, road user charges, water rights, resource consents or ACC levies to get yourself in the right mood for what follows. Here are a few examples of compliance gone mad that really wind me up.
When my local authorities wanted to impress the world by building a brand new $180 million stadium for next year’s Rugby World Cup, they didn’t even have the courtesy to ask ratepayers. They simply bumped our rates up (by $160 a year in my case) and warned they would take us to the cleaners if we refused to pay.
As a co-owner of this new stadium I’m thinking of leasing my bit to the New Zealand Rugby Union for World Cup matches, or at least ask them for free tickets. Sadly, us poor sods who bankrolled these pretentious palaces will be forced to pay extortionate prices for tickets to join the party.
The only consolation we can draw from this spectacular swindle is that the elected ringleaders who foisted this scam on us mysteriously vanished from public office at the recent local body elections. The electorate strikes back, a salutary lesson to our national leaders that democracy is alive and kicking out here in the hills.
You would expect better from our national politicians, but history suggests their answer for dealing with hard times is to increase GST for poor people who don’t have expense accounts or can’t afford a clever accountant.
My ACC levy has increased 675 per cent in the past eight years. That would be fine if I had changed my occupation from freelance journalist to freefall skydiver. The most dangerous part of my job is turning on a computer in the morning, so I’m hardly working in a high-risk occupation.
When I had the audacity to question ACC’s arithmetic, a frosty voice on the phone told me $10 a week was cheap income insurance. The trouble is, everyone just wants a few extra dollars a week, that’s all.
A few years ago I was sucked in by the hype to reduce my carbon footprint and bought a small diesel vehicle capable of running on biofuel. When a lot of other Kiwis switched to diesels, Compliance Central decided to punish us for dodging excise tax on petrol.
They progressively pumped up road user charges to force us back into petrol guzzlers so they could tax us properly. I revolted and bought a lightweight motorcycle that was even cheaper to run than a diesel. So did a lot of other Kiwis, which naturally led to an increase in motorcycle accidents on our roads.
Compliance Central jumped on us again, threatening a whopping $500 increase in ACC charges on registration fees for larger motorcycles.
Naturally they chickened out of a fistfight with Harley owners and gingerly raised fees from $321 to $591 a year to test the water.
Incredibly, grumpy old bikers swallowed that massive 45 per cent increase like it was Christmas, presumably on the grounds that it could have been much worse. That proves my point that Kiwis, even Harley owners, are a passive bunch.
Compliance is an insidious business - a bit like cooking frogs, I reckon. If you drop a live frog in a pot of hot water it will jump out in a hurry. Put one in a pot of cold water and slowly turn up the heat and it won’t notice it’s being boiled alive until it’s all over.
Be warned. Compliance cowboys are clever and cruel. Shame about the frogs.
• Rob Tipa is a senior Straight Furrow journalist based in the lower South Island
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